Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Just Do It

This week has felt much more mentally stable than last week's episodes of panic and anxiety. I decided that, since I now have super comfy athletic shoes, that I may try jogging. Tonight proved to be the perfect night to make the attempt as Melody was acting a fool and going crazy. I'm pretty sure this dog charges like a battery in this cold weather. I started to think about jogging, but started to actually jog before I had a chance to convince myself to wait until next time, and you know what? I didn't die. I actually kind of enjoyed it. I didn't do much. But I did it. I alternated walking and jogging. In total I only managed about a third of a mile, but it's a start. 

I have also been participating in a squat challenge for the month of February so if you see #loveyourbutt anywhere that's simply stating that I did my squats that day, sometimes more.  I've been fighting a headache for two days. Today it was accompanied by some nausea that progressed throughout the day. I ended up doing my squats at work, dress pants and all, just in case I ended up with a full blown migraine and couldn't complete them tonight. After work I found proper medication and some gel cooling pads for the back of my neck. They worked wonderfully and I felt like a million bucks by time I got home, hence the jogging. 

I made steel cut oats for breakfast. I added much more water than it called fo so they would be super porridge-y. I added a little vanilla, brown sugar, and coconut milk for extra satiety. It tasted like marshmallows! I totally wasn't expecting that, but I certainly didn't complain.  I grew tired of rolled oats a long time ago so I'm excited to find a way to make steel cut oats to my liking so I can cook a large batch at the start of the week along with boiling some eggs for grab and go breakfasts. Baby steps, yes?

Monday, February 2, 2015

It Takes Two to Tango

Unless you're my cat. Then it takes one. We are still battling Tango's allergy problems.  I plan to take him to the vet when our tax returns come in to make sure it isn't something new. It's been about seven years since he's been. Perhaps they have a treatment that doesn't risk heart failure now? I doubt it. Veterinary medicine and research doesn't seem to advance as quickly as human research. My best friend gave us a Thunder Shirt. It certainly keeps him from tearing himself apart, but I'm afraid to take it off. He gets obsessive about cleaning and reopens it. Every time. It sucks. Here's a photo of where we came from. It was in, he had a what appeared to be gaping hole in his side. It's mostly better now, but not 100%. 

Melody is a total fluff ball now that winter is here. 

Melody during the summer, heading into autumn:

Melody now:

I had to loosen her collar because of all the fluff! Love it. In regards to this winter, it's been really mild compared to last year. I hope it stays that way. I am *not* feeling the drawn out snow this year!

I finally bought good athletic shoes and layers so I've been able to walk in the cold. Oh, and a head collar for Melody's pulling. What used to be a chore is now something I look forward to doing. It's great!  

Monday, January 26, 2015


I thought I had posted this year. I also thought I had some posts in drafts to edit and publish. I guess not. This year has already been a mostly dismal series of events, but I'm keeping my head high and trying to not let it get me down. I'll write more later. This is just an 'I still exist' post ;P

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Where Does the Time Go?!

I swear, I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted! I have no excuse. I really am sorry...mostly.

Things have been crazy, but mostly uneventful...if that even makes sense. We've been keeping busy. 

I started a medically assisted weight loss program last month. I'm down 21 pounds. That's about a third of my first goal. Well, no. That's a lie. I've got 16lbs till I reach my first goal, "One"derland as they say.  From there it'll be another 21 to my ok weight range. Then another bit to reach a "healthy BMI". That's in quotes because you know how skewed the BMI chart is.  I carry quite a bit of lean weight under this massiveness that allows me to carry more than BMI says is acceptable.  Maybe I'm in denial ;)

The program has allowed me to get over some mental obstacles that held me back from dieting before.  It has also helped with some physical aspects...the mind/body connection if you will.  I'll go into more detail about it later. 

I attribute all of my success so far to my close friends, husband, coworkers, and doctor who are all very invested in helping me succeed and are extremely supportive. I couldn't do it without them <3 It is both very exciting and scary to be losing weight, especially after struggling for long. 

Other exciting news. We're going out of town with some friends this weekend. Husband is celebrating his birthday and the rest of us need a mini vacation so we're packing up and taking a trip :D We've never taken a vacation aside from obligatory family visits across country so I'm excited! We've done mini road trips to concerts, but never a booked vacation for a whole weekend.  I miss my puppy already, but I know she'll stay busy with her friend.

Updated photos, then I'm off! Sleep tight, world! 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Exciting Year

It will be an exciting year. How do I know? Because we will make it so!! And because a word find puzzle told us so. Ryan saw one of those "the first three words you see will be your 2014" silly bits of nonsense. His three words were love, intelligence, and experience. My words were love, lust, and popularity. Both sets sound very exciting ;)

It has already been exciting. Our apartment is not equipped for single digit temperatures. We have three space heaters so its slowly getting better. I'm just so glad we got our rugs down last weekend! I imagine it could have been colder without them. It would also help if I could find my curtains :/ And my sewing machine to hem them as the windows ere are MUCH shorter than at the house.

That's all I have for today. More tolerable than yesterday's novel, yes?

Oh, before I go. Here's an updated picture of our, puppy. She's 7.5 months old and 53lbs now :)

Monday, January 6, 2014

It's a New Year

Here's to being more consistent...hopefully ;)

I've completely forgotten about blogging lately.  It's not that I mean to, of course.  It's just not in my face so I don't think about it as much.  Things haven’t necessarily been stressful, just busy!  Christmas was quiet and simple.  My dad’s side of the family didn't celebrate much.  It just isn't the same as the old days when there were at least 20 people around.  Ryan’s side of the family was ill so we waited until Saturday to get together.

New Year’s Eve was tons of fun.  Ryan had to work the next morning.  I was fortunate enough to be off. 
I started reading The Hunger Games a few weeks ago.  I finished Catching Fire last night.  Now I have to wait until Thursday, pay day, before I can get the last book.  I'm not usually surprised by book events.  Perhaps it's because I haven't read a book in FOREVER.  I was certainly thrown off by the tribute selection, though...the process of the choosing, I suppose.  I need the third book pronto.  I’m growing impatient.  I suppose I’ll occupy my time with art...until Thursday.  Then I'm borrowing Game of Thrones from a friend.  So excited!

We spent the weekend sleeping and working on the apartment, aside from reading my book.  It felt like a lazy weekend, but it really was quite productive!

The other day my friend asked me what my New Year’s resolution was.  I hadn't thought about it.  I had originally thought to not make one, and then forgot about it altogether.  When she asked I figured I should come up with something.  Considering I hadn't thought about it, I came up with one rather quickly.  It isn't a goal necessarily.  It’s more of a resolution of existence.  Here is what came out when I responded:
“I suppose with my self learning this past year it would be to stress less, better practice what I preach in taking thing in stride as they come, be less reserved because what people think about me shouldn't be based on what I choose to show or hide from them…to just be happy…because THAT is what people will see and I want people to remember me as a free spirit who loves unconditionally and as someone who loves (lives) life to the fullest.”

Sound like a plan?  I think so.

Do you remember when I was going the 200 squat program?  If so, I'm sure you can recall that I stopped doing it (along with the 100 push ups and 200 sit ups).  I'm still not doing it, BUT I am doing squats again, but without the program.  I feared I was back to square one...45.  I sort of was at 50, but I also didn't push too hard because I was recovering from a cold.  About a week later I had the pleasure of getting two good nights of sleep and was feeling rather peppy so I pushed myself to failure...130.  Woo!  About another week passed and I did squats with my friend (we're trying to encourage each other) and we did 70.  I should have done more, but I'm trying not to burn myself out.  Another week went by...150!  I shot a video of the 150 as proof, but it's a really silly looking video so I won't post it.  My squat buddy can vouch for the video, though :P  I definitely feel a difference in only four sessions.  My thighs feel a bit less lumpy, and I definitely have more strength/stamina that before.  My squat buddy showed me some yoga and I have an app that I enjoy so I'm going to try to incorporate it more.  I definitely need it, especially in my lower legs.

Part of the work we did on the apartment was putting rugs down (all concrete floors).  Now that there's some cushion I'm going to *try* to do more push ups.  We'll see how long that lasts.  I like squats.  I hate push ups and crunches >.<

I am due to clock back in.  I will post again soon, even if it's not very exciting.  It will at least keep these novels down to short, easily read posts.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Art Therapy

I took an art therapy class during my second year of college. I hated it...probably my least favorite class. It felt very scripted and I felt fake. It was "art therapy", but I was graded on my art. I "didn't use enough color". They were MY expressions. It's was subjective. I didn't feel like a colorful person at the time. It made me angry. Who tells someone to express their thoughts through art and then gives them a lower grade because it wasn't what the teacher wanted?!  Therapy is about the client, or in this case, student. It turned me against the concept altogether. Like...passionately hated the topic since then. 

I watched a show on Netflix that incorporated art therapy. It seemed interesting, but I didn't think much of it. I went to the book store today and was really intrigued by the art books. After dinner to tonight I had the sudden urge to make art. 

Growing up I drew things from paper, never really creating anything original. Tonight, I had the urge to create...not because I *wanted* to make something, but because I *needed* to. I need therapy, and I'm not entirely willing to hunt down a psychologist.  I was shocked when I realized this. I feel that I have been dealing with things better...friendships, marriage, family.  I've been more direct than ever and I love it. I think that being more open has formed a path in which I want to be more artfully involved again. 

And so I pinned SEVERAL art therapy activities on Pinterest because, you know, I'm an addict. I am so excited! I've missed making art, but never really had a direction to go toward. I know art therapy isn't really a "direction", but I feel that it breaks the mindset that I have to be making art for a purpose, for it to look good, or for someone. Art is for me, though, not for a purpose, but for therapy, especially since I no longer have my piano. I still hold dark feelings toward my teacher for ruining something so important to me (I know...get over it), but she's no longer part of the process, an she can't put a grade on it now.